Don't Throw It All Away, Our Love

After over two decades in the ministry, as well as counseling couples, I see three things that will quickly destroy a marriage. Poor communication, disputes over money, and a dead sex life.
Today, I want to focus on the "dead sex life" part. Sex in marriage is one of God's greatest gifts. It should be something that helps unite couples, in good and bad times. Unfortunately, a good sex life is often one of the first things to go downhill in a marriage. Someone once said "the best way to ruin your sex life is to get married". Isn't that a shame? it certainly is not what God intended.
For men and women: if you are constantly using the excuse "I'm too tired for sex" then YOU have to change your schedule. Unless you don't mind wasting one of God's greatest gifts between a man and a woman. It is the whole realm of the sexual experience, from the anticipation to the foreplay to the act and completion, that helps bond a husband and wife as one. To deny it, or constantly rush through it, greatly reduces it specialness
Some plain advice. MEN-if you want your spouse to be excited about being intimate with you, leave the "Wham-Bam-Thank You, Ma mm" approach for locker room talk or the movies. Nothing kills a woman's desire to have sex faster than a man who only seems interested in his own orgasm. Learn to really love your wife-ever read the Psalm of Psalms? The whole book is about a couple learning to really love each other, and taking time to get to know what brings pleasure to the other, and not just concentrate on one's self. Explore her body, learn what she likes and does not like. A man who really loves his wife will be as excited to bring her to a climax as he is to get his own.
For WOMEN: Guess what? It really turns us off when you lay there like you're a bump on a log, and guess again, we know when you are "faking it". Again, know your husband, and what he likes and does not like. And don't treat your body like a sexual "mine field". One wrong touch by your husband, and suddenly the whole night is ruined. That doesn't mean to do things that you are uncomfortable with. But just guide him, put his hands (or whatever) where you do want them, and don't act like he has tried to assault you if he has not. I am amazed and saddened by the number of men who are almost scared of their wives's body because, as they have shared with me, they feel like they are "walking on egg shells" Also, if you tell your husband you would be more inclined to enjoy sex if he helped around the house more, live up to that. Also, don't require that everything in life be perfect (house spotless, every possible thing done) before you can have sex. Sex is a gift that helps us deal with life's highs and lows: it is not intended to only be had at times when everything is "perfect"--that junk is for the movies and Harlequin romance books.
Well, you either agree with me, or I ticked you off. Good either way, because at least I got you thinking. PLEASE share your thoughts and comments.
Have a blessed day!